obey teachers, less control will help deal with their future life

开头都是两句话：背景句+自己观点

On the other hand, other people insist that controlling less is beneficial to their adult life/future development/future prospects/in adulthood/,which will improve their thinking abilitilies.

It is well recognized that if youngsters become less accustomed to following others, they may consider more indenpendently, rationally.This means that they may be able to analyse the consequences of their actions, improving their ability to make dicisions independently when they grow up/when they become adults/as they grow older.

For instance, they may think about more factors, such as salary, the chance to learn and display their talent, when choosing a decent job.

Consequently, they will be more likely to develop competence in critical thinking and deciding on their own in adulthood

My view is that excessive control endangers children’s future life as children under strict rules

学习上，选择学校，choose a major they prefer

工作上，choose a decent job

生活上，choose a city to live in

注意论证一致

换词：too much control

1.原词

2.保留前面，换后面too many restrictions/rules/regulations

3.保留后面，换前面over control/excessive control

4.两个都换 excessive control

5.介词短语，under too much control

It is supposed that there will be a higher figure for older prople than young people in many countries in the future. I consider it is a pessmistic development.

The development will contribute to the less power of economic increment. Because more over people will increase the overhead of society which would give young people a heavy load, there would be a less fertility desire, and negative effects on economic would come into being. For example, if there are more expenditure given to pension, the young people should produce more value, they would be swamped with work, and have the 996 everyday. By the contrary, if the proportion of young people remains a higher position, the economic will have a promising future in many countries.

The higher proportion of older people would rise the family contradiction. Because young people with the more work would have less time to accompany their families, which will cause some unnecessary mistakens. For example, young people may forget some thing asked from old people, and the old will be angry.